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How to Tame your Resistance to Change and Love

Your ego runs your life with little regard for your conscious desires. The ego acts solely for one purpose – survival. No matter how positive you think, how many vision boards you create or visualizations you do, you don’t get what you want because your ego is running the show. The ego isn’t bad, but it is programmed to protect the status quo. Changes are just not an option.

The ego is as strong-willed as a wild horse. It avoids capture and it doesn’t want change. When one tries to tame a wild horse they experience resistance. The horse bucks and kicks and tries to run away. It refuses to give in. The ego mind is just like the horse. It thinks it is protecting you by resisting and knows no other way of being.

So how does a cowboy tame the wild stallion? He rides through the resistance, until the horse finally gives in and is too tired to fight anymore.

For most of your life, you avoid riding the horse (or opposing our ego). You stay in your comfort zone because it just seems like too much effort to make a change. Any time you start moving toward something new, the horse throws you off and you go back to the status quo.

It is way too comfortable to stay where you are so you back down when things get tough. You succumb to ego’s fear of change. You return to the old boyfriend, or jump into the arms of the next guy who is just the repeat version of the last one, you choose to stay in the security of the corporate paycheck rather than having your dream business or just go back in hiding from social interaction.

If you go against your true desires long enough, energy builds up to a critical point that must be used and can no longer be denied. The old paradigm is forced to shift and it comes in the form of a temporary setback or apparent failure. This is not bad luck but actually a gift in a clever disguise.

This turning point can occur after a big break-up or relationship let down, approaching a milestone birthday, a financial crisis or something possibly worse. This event has you become more self-aware and gain the motivation to change.

You finally gather the courage to ride the wild horse. You refuse to be complacent and keep things as they are and start to open up to a new possibility of how things could be.

To truly tame the ego, you have to put up with some kicking and resistance and refuse to give in regardless of what your mind tells you. Your ego-mind will say, retreat, go back, it will never work, there’s no one better out there, I don’t want to be alone, you can’t make money doing what you love, and so on. Sound familiar?

It isn’t easy. You can ask any cowboy. You want to find an easier way without going through all this resistance. You try out fancy healing tricks or look for a quick fix to avoid the pain, because you let the ego distract you. Shortcuts are the ego’s way of getting you back to status quo. You can’t go around resistance, only through it.

The fastest way to have an extraordinary life and reach your dreams is to learn ride and tame the wild horse of the ego. It is only through facing the resistance that the horse learns how to obey the reins of its rider, rather than the rider being driven by the will of the ego.

You cannot get rid of your ego (nor do you want to) because it serves a great purpose to keep you alive. However, it doesn’t have the imagination and creativity of your divine self to create new experiences. It just likes to repeat the past where the ego feels is comfortable and safe.

You can learn how to tame and guide the ego. As your greater self takes the reins this divine part of you starts to direct your life with an expanded vision of what is possible. Through the resistance you build spiritual strength and skill to prepare you for the life you are now ready to live and the love you are now ready to receive.

 

Check out this video visualization – A quickie to help you step into your new future!

2 Comments
  • jayne kelleher
    Posted at 16:31h, 06 January Reply

    Debi,
    I spoke with you along time ago and was going through changes which still seem to be a work in progress and so appreciate your guidance as I feel you were brought to me for a reason as I felt similar stories we had in common. I guess now I am at the point of wondering with all your amazing work if you could possibly set up a dating site or something of the sort according maybe to geographic areas. I have exhausted dating sites through the years and financially now am trying to see how I could possibly move ahead with my career but my true desire is a man who I know and still believe is out there but honestly I am thinking outside of my mind to create this or find him. any thoughts? thanks so much again as I am too all done with my healing and crossed that bridge some might say so I thank you again as I am truly ready and living in greater boston area wondering now hmmmmmmm ? as I cannot afford expensive sites due to my recent layoff.

  • Debi Berndt
    Posted at 16:42h, 06 January Reply

    It doesn’t matter where you look and what dating sites you are on, you are always seeing a reflection of your mind. You may want to talk with one of our certified love coaches, Lee Lewalski, she is in the Boston area and does free talks on love in Boston. http://creativelove.com/certified-creative-love-and-life-coach-directory/

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