Are you looking for love or looking for a life?

Many women dream of the handsome prince arriving to take her away from the evil stepmother of corporate America or the lonely tower of gloom. Romantic comedies, poetry and even Tom Cruise with his “you complete me” message has given singles the idea that happiness is on the other side of meeting that special person.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a partner or marriage or children. We are social creatures and designed to have love and valuable relationships with each other. In the movie, “Out in the Wild,” the main character realizes at the end that true happiness is shared with others.

Your desire for love and a more complete life is right on target. But a partner isn’t the sole solution of life’s woes and is not responsible for giving you a life. Imagine meeting someone and having that burden placed on you. Being someone’s everything is so much pressure.

The best thing you can do for a lasting relationship is to be happy before you get involved. You know this, you have heard this before but how can you be happy if the one thing you want in your life is missing?

Believe me, I know it isn’t easy when your heart aches for true love but the truth is that you aren’t aching for what you think. There is something deeper, a void that you feel inside that can never been filled by anyone but you.

In order to find true love, you must fill that perceived void yourself first. Here are three steps that you can do to close the needy loop and be truly in your power for an amazing partnership.

  1. Sit in a quiet place and talk to the feeling you have when you think of being alone.  Ask yourself “What am I really looking for?” “What am I really aching for?”
  2. Find something in your life right now that will give you what this part of you really wants – peace, love, confidence, joy…
  3. Become a seeker of inner joy v. an outer person. As you focus on experiencing joy, more joy will seem to find you.

Joy can be found in following your dreams, using your natural talents and spending time with friends, pets and in places that enrich your life experience.

One of the gifts of this time of being on your own is to fill yourself up with so much love that you become irresistible to someone who is overflowing as well. No more energy vampires or men who are afraid of getting too close. You will see a huge difference in the people who come into your life because the new ones will reflect back your natural happiness.

Instead of worrying what you are getting from your partner and keeping report cards on each other, you will have a grown-up relationship that is full of love and harmony. Cherish your last single days because the more you generate the love within the faster your ideal partner will arrive.

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