Blog

Fear of Intimacy in Dating

Many singles think they want a relationship, but are really afraid of commitment and intimacy with someone who really cares for them. These hidden fears from past hurts and possible abuse have put an armor of protection around their heart. They reject available men who treat them nice, while they pine over their old boyfriends years after a breakup. The subconscious likes to keep things the same, so if your past patterns are about heartache and painful relationships, you are more than likely to perpetuate your experience into the future dating life…unless your change your subconscious.


The subconscious stores your past hurts and warns you of danger any time someone tries to get close. The unavailable men are “safe” to the subconscious because on a deep level you know you won’t be faced with the challenge of opening up to real intimacy with someone who is not available. Singles tend to run away from the “nice” people and lust for the bad boys and girls who cause them heartache. It is an automatic reaction, and you can feel powerless over this misguided sense of attraction.


You can change those fears by forgiving the people in the past that hurt you and be willing to move on to someone who will treat you kindly. It takes practice to distinguish real intuitive nudges to walk away, and false fears of actually being open to an intimate relationship. I created the Allowing Intimacy program to help singles let go of past hurts and allow real love into their future. Flooding the mind with new information of being worthy of love will support you in making the right choices in dating and give the “nice guys” a chance.

2 Comments
  • feelingflirty
    Posted at 22:25h, 17 July Reply

    It’s easy to build a relationship with someone. It starts with conversation and learning about one another and you’ll find that it rapidly moves on to he-ing and she-ing as that’s how we’re all programmed. Keeping a good relationship is tougher because it seems that one person tends to think all the work has been done and a relationship is always evolving.

    I really like your blog and feel we could advance both our sites by exchanging links. We could exchange articles with links if you’re interested. Feeling Flirty has a Google page rank of 2 and quite a few articles in the archive.

  • Debra Berndt, CHt (Hypnodeb)
    Posted at 12:57h, 18 July Reply

    Hi Feeling Flirty – yes, I just added your site to my links. Thanks in advance for adding mine to your site as well. Deb

Post A Comment